Etiquette and aperitivo: how to behave and the mistakes you should avoid

Travelers to Rome and Italy bring home at least one “intangible” souvenir: the most famous of these is probably the custom of the “aperitivo”, where locals have a pre-dinner drink with friends or family. This can be accompanied by some light, savory snacks before the actual time for dinner rolls around, at which point you leave the cafe/bar where you had your drink and head to the actual restaurant. If you haven’t heard of it, think of it as the local version of happy hour: the price is usually fixed and it has a limited duration (usually between 7pm and 9pm).

This post is for anyone who wants to enjoy an aperitivo while traveling in Italy. With one big caveat: “when in Rome” does not really apply here! Read on to find out why.

Aperitivo was not created equal

While any establishment called “bar” here will be happy to serve you an alcoholic drink before dinner, aperitivo is not universally “enforced” the way it is described in guidebooks. This means that some cafés will only offer a small bowl of peanuts or chips to go with whatever you order, while others will advertise their locally-called “formula aperitivo”, i.e. a set price where you pay a certain amount of money – 15 to 20 EUR each – to get a drink with a platter of (more commonly) cured meats, cheeses or pizza by the slice/fried antipasti. Remember, the higher the price, the more generous the food.

On a related note, the endless buffets of yesteryear (also featured prominently in guidebooks to Italy, and one of the reasons aperitivo is so popular) are also no longer a thing, except for rare exceptions where… the name of the establishment that defies this new rule is passed on in secret for fear of being discovered by too many people! This is a byproduct of the Covid emergency, we’re sorry to say. While it sounded wise in 2020 to avoid another situation where contagion could have been a risk, most entrepreneurs now realize that having a table full of food that could sit untouched for hours was a waste of money, and in this new post-pandemic area, this has been replaced by a more “considerate” modus operandi, where the food is not endless and usually appears in the form of a small platter or cutting board. It’s a new way of doing things, and while we can be nostalgic for the way they used to be, we can’t objectively blame a company for wanting to make more money.

With these cautions out of the way, here are a few tips and tricks to help you enjoy your aperitivo and join the tens of thousands of people who taste it every day in the alleys of Rome.

Aperitivo do’s…

• Try drinks specifically designed for the aperitivo: any variation of the Spritz, the Hugo, the Negroni, the Americano, or sparkling wines that are a product of Italy, such as Prosecco, Alta Langa, Franciacorta. You’re welcome to “wander” more in terms of choice, in the direction of red wines or champagne. Non-alcoholic drinks are certainly possible, as well as beer. In other words, a shot of limoncello is not an option for the aperitivo!
• It’s good practice to reserve a table in advance. Bars that do aperitivo are popular for this very reason, and there is a lot of competition! This does not apply to regular neighborhood cafes that stay open in the late afternoon or evening.
• Generally speaking, a restaurant is not a place that does aperitivo the way a bar does. If you’re early for dinner and your table is ready, you can have a glass of sparkling wine (less often a cocktail) with some small antipasti. This is not unheard of, and we have done it many times while waiting for someone in our party to join us. It shouldn’t be a regular thing, just something to do to please your waiters, since it’s obvious you can’t order a full meal already.
• Yes, you can have aperitivo before lunch. It’s just a smaller affair compared to the evening one, so don’t overdo it!

… and don’ts

• In the (unlikely) event that you find yourself in a place that still has a buffet, don’t stuff your plate with food. Aperitivo is supposed to be a way to unwind after work or a long day, where the conversation is the most important part of the event, not the food (or drinks). Besides, you’re going out to dinner anyway, right? Of course, there are people who use the aperitivo as a light meal, but they’re subtle about it. That should be the operative word.
• Don’t expect the place you’re having aperitivo at to be able to accommodate your dietary restrictions: while vegan aperitivo is on the rise in a number of places (Google Maps can help!) the food is generally very basic and not suitable for lactose-intolerant or celiac people. Ask the waiters if they have any options to help you enjoy the aperitivo to the fullest, such as vegetarian plates, fries/chips, but don’t feel personally attacked if this is not possible.

Bottom line: imitate the Italians!

We understand that this all sounds very complicated. When in doubt, look at what Italians do (or better yet, befriend one!) and do what they are doing: you’ll master aperitivo and its minute rules in no time!